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The Right to Occupy Your Space

Let's take a short journey into the distant past. Not a vague journey, a specific journey - one that will take us along a very interesting path, a path we rarely consider, if ever.

To start, let's try to imagine what the world was like around, say, a thousand years ago. Ok, now let's see... with a little license, we can say this was roughly the time in history when the seeds of courtly love were first being sown, when troubadours were just beginning to write lyric poems about abstract concepts like chivalry, and when knights and damsels were just beginning to come into their own. So yes, this is a fine place to begin our journey.

Now imagine a man standing on the earth all those many years ago. That man, somewhere on earth and one thousand years ago, had a son, who then went on to have a son, who also had a son, who, in turn, had a son, and so on, all the way down through the centuries. These men, all of them creators, produced a very direct and distinct line of fathers and sons, all the way down to the modern age.

And, more specifically, all the way down to you.

Oh, did I forget to mention that the man you should imagine one thousand years ago is your direct ancestor? Well, let's imagine it now. What did he look like? What was he wearing? What kind of people were around him? And where on the earth do you guess he was standing? And while you are pondering those questions, also consider this excellent thought: every single one of us alive today had a forefather standing on the earth one thousand years ago.

So there he is. This man was your blood. You are his legacy. And stretching through these many ...the world deserves your true self. The world deserves your authenticity. The world deserves you fully present. years between you and him, that distant ancestor on a distant shore, is a long unbroken line of fathers and sons, creators, men who ultimately created you today.

And now think about the many thousands of men who were his contemporaries that have no direct descendents alive today. In other words, somewhere in the last thousand years, they or their sons or daughters had no offspring and their particular line died out.

The implication, of course, is that you have the blood of winners circulating in your veins. Think about that for a minute. Your forefathers had the strength and imagination and courage to create. Against all the odds - short life expectancies, wars, crusades, famines, persecution, plagues and pestilence - they persevered.

They won.

Through all the centuries, the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, the Reformation and Enlightenment, through the incredible periods of Exploration and Colonization, through the Victorian Age, the Industrial Age, through Civil and World Wars, through the Information Age, all the way to you.

You, my friend, have the bloodline of champions.

Your fathers were adventurers, pioneers, and warriors... warriors who stood on a battlefield with a sword.

And yet... we are afraid to talk to that girl over there.

It is amazing when you think about it. It's kind of like we are letting these men down.

One thing's for sure: we are definitely letting that girl down. Why? Because she deserves your true self. In fact, the world deserves your true self. The world deserves your authenticity. The world deserves you fully present.

We, as men, have forgotten how to stand on the earth. We have forgotten how to be spacious. We have forgotten that we have been given a name. We have forgotten the legacy of all those who came before us. We dial ourselves down.

We settle.

And there's the problem. We settle - in our careers, in our relationships, in all aspects of our lives. Women everywhere are asking "Where are the real men?" And we're over here in the corner saying, "It's good enough."

No more! Never settle. Dregs settle.

Always remember the legacy of those who came before you. Because of them, you have the right to occupy your space on earth. You have the right to speak your name. You have the right to be spacious.

And you certainly have the right to talk to that girl!

Zan Perrion
Copyright 2007 Alabaster Communications Inc

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"Zan, I wasn't sure if your private teaching would be worth the money, but after talking to the odd girl maybe once a month, or less, I'm now talking to girls everywhere! It isn't just me approaching them either anymore... now they smile at me, come up to talk to me.

I know part of it is the body language you taught me, but I think they can sense the deeper stuff you taught me as well. Can women really tell a guy who loves women by looking at him? If they can't, it's sure fooled me."

LT, San Francisco
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